Married young, W had affair w/ coworker Pt.2

[UpperCu]

My PMA is in the toilet right now, so thanks for the quick reply Wonka.

Saw W at lunch today. I canceled the mediator appointment and text her to let her know. She asked if she could stop by sometime this week to pick some stuff up since we won't see each other at the appt. I told her I was pretty busy so I would prefer to just drop her stuff off. Maybe she wanted to hang out or something, I dunno. I feel like I really just want to push her away right now. It's too hard to see her.

When I did see her, she looked like crap. Tons of makeup and she looks like she isn't eating enough or working out anymore. She has always been fit and healthy. Now she looks fake, frail, and goopy. Woof.

She said she found a place to live after her temporary arrangement ends.

I didn't say much, but she brought up one of my GAL activities (playing basketball with my church) and she was surprised to hear that.

After we parted ways I went back to work and my day went downhill mentally. PMA was awful and I felt disgusted thinking about W.

I texted her telling her I wanted to move some of her stuff to a storage unit. She asked why I can't just wait a month until she is back from her holiday travels. I told her I am not trying to pressure her but I am thinking about getting roommates.

It's true, I have been thinking about getting roommates,but I guess I lied, I do want to pressure her to ACT. I feel like she moved out while leaving one foot (and a bunch of stuff) in the door.

What I really wanted to say is... I was a good husband and loved you and you found some stranger who apparently fits into your fantasy life and then you decided to leave me. This is really hard. I can't stand to feel this awful over and over again while you go about your merry way. I just want to move on with my life and never see you again.... Didn't say that, but that's how I'm feeling at the moment.