My W also filed the D papers back in April. We had a hearing for Spousal support and I was order to pay her an amount that I thought was unfair but figured since she was still living in the M home with me. and paying bills it only would be about 100.00 per month after bills.
I basically put too much trust in my W. She has not paid any credit card bills in 6 months this due to her L I am sure. I have covered all expenses. She moved out at the end of Sept.
At that time she presented me with an offer for settlement that was way over the line really one-sided. I countered offered with something I thought was fair. Basically I offered this back in Aug but she wasn't happy because she thought it made it too easy for me to get the house. When it was actually proposed in Oct her L responded saying we were too far apart and they would just wait till the 2 year S date in June 2015.(this their date) My date is actually May of 2016. Now who is road blocking?
Anyway, I then scheduled a modification hearing to lower the Spousal support since she is no living in the M home. She is living with her GrandMother rent free and as far as I know has yet to get her(we both own it)car inspected it is 4 months overdue. I also am eligible for a Mortgage Modification.
They postponed that till the 1st week of the new year.
Wonka is right if you aren't comfortable slow the process down do not give in and just roll over to their demands.
The night my W handed me the D papers I was really hurting but I looked at my W and I told her "ok I need to say this to you, Whatever happens from now on is in no way a reflection of how I feel about you. It is now a business transaction and I have to protect myself just like you do." she responded "you are going to get vicious aren't you?" I said "I will try not to but I will do whatever my L tells me is in my best interest."
Around June my W started saying things like "you are roadblocking this D. I have to do all the work and it is not fair." I then went out and did things that she wanted me to do but when the numbers starting shaking out she got real mad because it was a money thing for her. Once it became apparent that her "goal" amount was not reachable she wants to wait till a judge decides our fate. In waiting she also gets to collect spousal support for that much longer.
I have no(maybe a slight)problem giving my W 50% because the law pretty says that is how it will be unless she full on admits to her A and just takes what is hers and start a new life.
I am ok with the process going slow. I still want to work on my M and it is tough to do when she is not living here and is in an A but I keep bettering myself with this alone time. Some intel that I have gives me hope that the A, while not in imminent danger of ending, is most likely not going to amount anything in the future. At least that is what I pray happens.
doesn't mean a R is in the cards but as long as we are M there is still a chance.
Hang in there and stay strong.
Great advice Wonka!! If you have some time could you go back to my thread once again. I answered those questions you asked and I now need some more feedback Thank you very much in advance!!
Me 47/W 34 T 16 M 13 No kids BD 6/2013 W asked that I move out 6/2013 I moved back and W is upset with this 12/2013 separate beds not much talking Served D Complaint 5/2014 W moved out 9/27/2014
