I agree with all what you said about consequences, but I do not see it so straight forward as you see.
For many things in life it is you do this and then that happen and if you don't then you lose, or is late, have the aggravation. I know that is they way it is supposed to be, but in R it's a little more complicated, in my opinion.
There are a lot of external emotions as well as internal emotions and they build up with time. Feelings are a very hard matter, love is something amazing and in the same time very complicated.
And the master of all... communication. Most of us can communicate quite a lot throughout our lives, but in R the communication gets distorted, misunderstood. And that's why most people say that it is very hard to live together, to be married to someone for many, many years without trouble.
One day we wake up feeling a little crappy, we go to work or do errands and the day does not improve, it gets more crappy, then we came home and the other half is there feeling really good. H/S says something funny and you are not in a mood, you want to just be quite and go to bed. You resent you other half because he did not notice how crappy you are feeling, and the other half resent you because you are not a fun person to be with.
Next thing you know you are creating resentment, blindness, hurts that will stay with you for a long time. Then the next time there is a misunderstanding, it start to build up.
We are human beings, beautiful creatures, but we are complex in the area of "Feelings".
So, if we are able to recognize and think about all we want to say before we do, all we want to transfer before we do, it would be fantastic, but we don't. There are just too many routes in a day and sometimes is the R that suffers the most.
I think this board is a blessing, it start opening my eyes and my brain to what it means to care, to love and to share a life with someone important to us.
I see now that it's not about winning or loosing, it's not about having more or less, better or worse... it's about giving. And doing that we always receive more.
Maybe I am too romantic and believe too much in good. I know there are bad people out there and we can do nothing about them. But maybe, if we don't judge, we can see who is who in all this.
It's just a tough, really I don't know if this is what everyone needs, I know I have been learning that some things are just not worth my heartache. I am learning to let go on all the hurts, and I have been feeling a little better every day. It is for me and for me alone, no one else.
