I just wish I understood my WAW. Some snooping today, text exchange between her and a friend, says, “When this whole thing first started I wanted to work on things and learn to appreciate each other and maybe fix it. That was more than six months ago and now I’m just so angry that he’s done nothing and his excuse is because he doesn’t feel like you should have to prove himself or compete with anyone”
I couldn’t believe she had really said that to her friend.
When I confronted her about OM, yeah for 2 – 4 weeks she did want to work on things, but made sure I knew she had feelings for him and just needed some time and that he was just a friend. In that 2 - 4 weeks we went back and forth on her wanting to work on things. I recall she went on travel for work for 1 week and we were supposedly working on things. Upon her return she said to the effect, “I value his friendship and don’t want to lose him as a friend.” Another instance was we spent a Saturday together out in a neighboring city (has more attractions than the city we stay in) and it went well I thought. However, Sun. she wants to go to his church and when I ask her why, she says because she wants something different. Lastly, since ultimatum day after the end of the 4th week, she hasn’t communicated to me that she wants to do whatever it takes to work on us. If anything, I recall more of her wanting to talk/move in the direction of separating and her not stopping being “friends” with OM. And I really don’t know how separating will make this any better
Should I compete? Well, I did, but my actions weren’t wanted and its like too much too late. I know another site similar to MWD’s setup states the LBS should either compete or do nothing for the first 6 months. After that 6 months he recommends pretty much the same principles as people here have.
Her actions and her words are on completely different pages.
