Divorced and still bitter!!

[kenva]

Well I haven't been here in a while. Been trying to work on myself and s. Gone to a few counseling sessions and therapist said I'm moving along. I have no verbal contact still w x. Text only. I have only seen her once when I dropped s off and on the phone once, a butt dial on her end. I have been on a few dates. One a blind date which I have never done in my life and w this other woman. She's a little pushy on having a relationship. Me. Don't think I'm ready yet. I kinda want to get thru this first holiday season on my own. Still talk to my ex mother n law and her sister about once a week. Found out that x invited her mother to dinner one night but there was a twist. The Om was going to be w her. So her mother politely told her she isn't ready for that yet. That she considers him one of the reasons of this broken marriage. She got defensive and said it wasn't his fault. "What ever". She and I knew this day would come. She's curious how Xmas will end up if she brings him. I told her if she does , and I'm supposed to pick up s Xmas eve from mother n laws house, that, no offense but I won't come to her house to pick him up. She would have to bring him to me. I know we are legally divorced but I don't have to do anything I don't want. The one thing therapist said is that my s can and had picked up on my moods and that he worries about me. I don't want her or her friend ruining my Xmas w my s. So here I am. Still bitter? A little yes. But who wouldn't. She was cheating on me w him for almost 2 1/2 years before being divorced. And I deserve to be bitter. The words from my therapist. " I have never seen anyone try so hard to try and change themselves the way You did and the books You read and db coaching you have done. " I still do pray every night , every night for 3 years now , for hope. I hope everyone here has a merry Xmas and happy new year. I also pray for everyone else because no one should go thru this.