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I'm no expert here but I think you shouldn't comment about why you don't want to speak to her. I think you should just ignore the call or answer it hurriedly and excuse yourself. Telling her you are hurt, etc... seems pathetic (I know you're not) and could just push her away more. If you could leave that part out and tell her you don't appreciate the way she's been treating you, that might be better. But I would actually forgo the convo. right now. Just my thoughts.....Tootles........Have a great DAY!!!!


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Seattle-

I think you know the answer to your own questions. This is why I still think it would be good for you to go away for a few days--for YOU!

Then, the next time she calls, you could say they you can't talk because you have to really finish some things before you go away. You can add that "maybe" you can touch base once you get back. And leave it at that. Rememeber, if your trying to maintain a lifetime R, some space for a few days is not necessarily a bad thing--and a mere speck of time in the grand scheme of things. KOFTGF.

Merrick


Keep on fighting the good fight.

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SH,

Have to agree with them. Make yourself less accessible. Maybe go somewhere for a day or two. Don't go by the shop all the time. Don't call for awhile. But I would not express you're hurt. "Act as if."

Hang in. Do for you. You would not call one of your friends everyday or go by his house. If he called, you might talk or go out or say, "Hey, I'm busy, call you later." Treat her like the friend.

write

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Yeah, I think people are right about the casual thing. Like if you have been initiating tons of contacts and then getting a brush off- maybe it's time for W to initiate the next one. Pulling back slightly- like missing a call, or waiting longer than usual to return it kind of thing...

Like an overwatered plant- needs to soak up your feeding first, before it wants/needs more... When temps start to warm, it will start to need more water too!


Master the self-fulfilling prophecy.. Act 'as if' it's going to happen and make it be!!
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Quote:

It might not be productive to share what I feel with her right now. She isn't in a position to hear me and understand those feelings right now?




Correct. I would agree with what everyone else has said so far.

Quote:

Hang in. Do for you. You would not call one of your friends everyday or go by his house. If he called, you might talk or go out or say, "Hey, I'm busy, call you later." Treat her like the friend.




Yes, what DBB has said is true. I have a few friends that go back to high school. There are times we might not talk to each other for a week or two or more, and like any friendship there are ups and downs, but we all know we're very close and we would trust each other with our lives, we always treat each other with good will even when we're having a little fun at the other's expense. When one of us is busy, or one of us troubled, we know each other well enough that a lot of explaining isn't necessary.


My W is my best friend
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