I've dropped the rope....

[Sotto]

Gosh - you have had an eventful time! Well, it sounds better than having an awful conversation about D and just having to accept that (for now at least) that's it...

It sounds as though your H is conflicted, and he's a nice man - he sounds concerned that you are having a rough time etc.. I suppose the thing that this doesn't help with is detachment!

But I'm partly envious - Part of me wishes I had shared a bed with my H this weekend even with OW in the picture!

Well, I think you should be gentle with yourself. Golly, this is a hard enough experience to get through....we can't be getting perfect 10's all the time now can we?

But your plan to regroup sounds like a good one. Until or unless OW is history and he is keen (falling all over himself) to recommit to the M, you risk a 'cake-eating' scenario - he can't fully let go of OW or you.....you meet some needs, she meets others...painful - and could extend timescales.

It may be an idea to read again the LRT advice in DR. I think this applies in your sitch - as in mine - on the basis that you are currently S and there is some talk of D.

Have you posted some specific goals with some early actions towards them? It might be an idea to get all specific with yourself if you have just had a 'lapse' (for want of a better word.) Maybe also think about your boundaries - what is and isn't okay for you in this situation?

I have had a good day thanks - good PMA. I think weekends are the hardest, so I'll think about some more weekend GALs. I emailed 5 nice local stores to see if they might be interested in someone working part time. I already do some professional freelancing from home, but it would be nice to supplement that with something low pressure, local and more social.

I also identified a yoga class I would like to do in the new year. I've told myself I need to do at least one action a day towards GAL - until my life is full enough that I am happy with it. I feel better now that I'm 'fighting' again :-)