WAW still at home 12 weeks after asking for D

[bdub]

To top off a crazy week with highs and lows all over the place, I got a call from WAW early in the evening. She was crying and very emotional. S13 was angry with her and was not communicating with her and she was frustrated. He apparently said he didnt want to be there with her. Background: I stayed in the house and she moved out. The boys are more comfortable in the house they grew up in at this time. She talked, I listened and validated. I really wanted to tell her she made her own bed, so now she has to lay in it. But I did not. I offered a few reasons why the adjustment period might be a little tougher this weekend. (huge win vs rival in basketball, friends over for the weekend, huge OSU football win, stayed up late that night, S13 has a gf and she has not been tm much, we spent time together as a family at the games and it brought a lot of things back up, )

I asked her what I could do to help and offered to re-double my efforts to talk kindly about her when I have the boys.
During the course of the conversation I realized how far "out of the loop" she really is. She had no idea about s13 gf even though I told her about it, and suggested she talk with him, she had no idea s13 had a basketball game today, she had no idea s13 had to wear a shirt and tie to school on game day, she had no idea s10 had a christmas program Thursday, and several other little deatails. I don't know what to do with this, or even if it should concern me.
Anyway, we talked for over an hour. Real communication. Maybe it will help ease the tension. We have to communicate better for the sake of everyone. I avoid all communications with her, other than pick ups and drop offs and the occasional dissolution issues. Our interations almost always lead to anger and threats on her side and anxiety, tension and frustration on my side.