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[KGirl]

OK, I took some time to look at my earlier posts. Lately I've been writing about not understanding the "why" or his reasons for wanting a D. I didn't feel this way 6-12 months ago, so I was looking for what had changed. I think what's changed is that in the beginning of all this, I clung to and noted anything he said about why he wasn't unhappy and took it all very seriously (so the reasons "why" were more forefront in my mind). I think what's different is that I've now had enough time to either:
A) toss some of the reasons because they were things that I didn't think I needed to work on/were not problematic in my life (like him feeling like I didn't trust him enough... well, no, why would I? Or my expectations about chores.. I don't think they were unreasonable) OR
B) Really put work into the reasons I did think were valid. Problem is, he either didn't see them because we were NC, or when he did see them/acknowledge them, he said it wasn't enough and that nothing was going to change his mind.

So, I think where I've gotten stuck lately is that I've tossed or changed most of the original reasons, which left me with not a lot to work with and therefore wonder why were still heading to D? Maybe what I need to be telling myself is "he had reasons, but they were either things I worked hard to fix, or they were things that would have changed who I am at my core in ways that would have made me unhappy about myself."

My sister shared an article today about reasons why you should marry the "complicated" girl. Of course, there are a bunch of comments from guys at the bottom like "this is the type of girl you RUN from" so maybe guys don't actually like this (and it's a little oversimplistic), but this is who I am and I don't think it's a bad thing. I'm not simple and I'm not easy and maybe that was too much for H.




"An unevolved man or a boy will always want the simple girl. He doesn’t want to have to work hard for anything, especially not a relationship. He doesn’t want to be challenged or confronted.

But, a real man knows that by being with a complicated girl, he will be better for it. At times, this girl can be difficult, but he knows her intentions are good. With healthy communication, the relationship will become stronger.

This is the type of girl you should marry. You may think it’s not what you want, but you want her. The easy girl will never satisfy you. She will be sweet but uninspiring. She will always leave you wanting more.

Even stubborn Mr. Big came to realize he didn’t want it easy, and he ended up cheating on Natasha… with Carrie.

Complicated girls are creative and, at times, emotional. She may also have a touch of what some people call “crazy” or “b*tchy.” But, no one will love you better. No one will make love to you with as much passion.

No one will encourage you to follow your dreams. You will have many deep conversations with her that make you question your beliefs and ideas. She will outsmart you on many occasions. It won’t always be easy, but it will be more satisfying and always entertaining.

A simple girl has a simple mind. Things won’t be so hard when you are with this girl; it will be calm seas and smooth sailing. This is the type of girl you probably imagine yourself marrying, not the one who is opinionated and smart, who doesn’t always agree.

But, if you want to be the best you can be and expand your mind and capabilities, marry the complicated girl.

Marry the girl who tells you exactly what she expects and follows through.

Marry the girl who demands your respect.

Marry the girl who can talk politics, even if her opinions are different from yours.

Marry the girl whose eyes flicker with passion about a number of different subjects.

Marry the girl who won’t let you get away with slacking on your talents.

Marry the girl who pushes you to be better every day.

Marry the girl with whom you sometimes fight.

Marry the girl who is your equal or greater."