Boy can I relate to what you are thinking right now!
Seattle, the toughest thing for me to encounter is seeing my W associated with someone else. Its a hard hard pill to swallow. The fact you saw someone else driving her car lends to many assumptions and negative thoughts. Please don't get sucked into the negativity.
I wish I can say DON'T DO IT and the light switch will go off for you. (well, I did say it, did it go off?) The fact is this is the path your W is choosing, not you, and there isn't anything you can say right now to change it.
HOWEVER, there is something you can do. Every sitch is different in ways, so for me to apply what I have done is not necessarily the right answer for you. Besides, doing what I did would only damage your DB efforts, thats my opinion.
From what you wrote, it sounds as if you aren't really "listening" to what she is saying. I read the things you wrote, and it seems she is begging for some space right now. She has alot of things on her mind, including her business and her family. Is it possible that you only further cloud what she needs to think about, which is her?
You see, not only do you need to make yourseld a better person, but she does too, and it also seems that the opportunity is there for her. Let her do it.
I KNOW you want to help her in any way possible, to be there for her and help her out when you can. You mentioned that the talks you have on the phone have been great, but when you are side by side with her, things are cordial but seem like she is uncomfortable. Am I correct? Why do you think that is?
I may be shot for saying this, but it sounds as if the dog is a major player in her life right now, because if the dog is not there, she is truly alone. She may her new friends, but the dog is her love right now. Maybe that is why she has nightmares when the dog is not there. Just a thought.
Look bud, you are one of the great ones on the BB here. You know as well as anyone that you need to walk your own path right now. Your W needs to walk her path without you being in the way all the time. She has some thinking to do, let her do it. And I am NOT, repeat, NOT saying you need to go dark. Perform and monitor results.
This is all MHO my friend.
Okay, here's the hug that I owe you.
Triple J
Things were different then. All is different now. I tried to explain, somehow..........
Eddie Vedder (Pearl Jam)
