Gwen - I feel that no matter what the MLC'er is doing - whether it is drama and negative attention or being distant and silent, its tough for the LBS.
Trying to cope with the range of emotions, the shock, the grief and to keep going on with life when everything has just crumbled around us takes amazing strength and resilience. We all say we can't do it anymore - yet we do, day after day, we keep going -
You are going to come out of this evolved; an upgraded version of yourself - Gwen 2.0. Back in control of your life, yourself and your decisions. If/when he wakes from this madness, he will see you very differently and you will see him very differently and by then it will be you calling the shots not him.
