Thanks AJ,
It does help to know I'm not alone. W also forgets all the things she's spewed and gets really angry saying "I would never say such a thing". When she complained that she had to pay for contact lenses, she got giddy when I said that I'm trying to pay for food, you want to get her contacts do it. She doesn't 'need" them she has glasses. She said "Oh, I'll be sure to tell her that you don't care if she get contacts", like she relishes a way to make me look bad.

In my case the OP is my FIL. The most passive/aggressive human on the planet. I'm certain he is feeding her just from some of the things she is saying. When he is no longer in the picture MAYBE she will settle down, maybe not, who knows.

I've pretty much been able to limit interactions which may be why this one was so bad. I started out saying I didn't want to talk and hash things out as I wasn't prepared to do that since I didn't even know my lawyer was backing out. She roped me in and that's all my fault...I can't let it happen again! I know that it's up to me to stop letting any of this get to me. I really think that once I get into this new job, I'll be better able to handle things as they come. I will have to spend most of my energy on getting going on the new job. I will say when I wasn't so stressed about money, I was much better able to hold my anger in check. When I have W saying she's paying $123 a WEEK for just my health insurance (which can't be true!) and is tired of "supporting me" and that we need to split expenses 50/50 for D14, even though she out earns me 8 to 1 and thinks the court will tell me that I have to pay 50% even knowing that I can't afford nearly as much as her, it drives me nuts! The court will take into consideration how much we each make, not just say "Even though you don't make enough to pay for half of everything you have to" it just seems to me that she is just so unable to even understand how things work but has no problem spewing about it. Again, I just need to not allow it to get to me! It's all on me now. I just need to step up. I also don't think it helps that now I have to find time to ca;ll my lawyer as well. Don't think it will help as he doesn't want to keep going because he's already been paid his flat fee. It only did flat fee because he thought it was going to be easy. Well, W made sure it wasn't easy and now he doesn't want to keep doing things for free in his mind!