Busting a Move - LisaB Ch6

[TLEE86]

Lisa, IMO, I think you are spot on when you say that you can't tell your WAH that you won't tolerate him being with OW. My WAW said the same thing that in her mind we're not together anymore, as backwards as that sounds. So I definitely agree with your analogy..telling him he can't see OW just makes you sound crazy/controlling because right now, its all about HIS life and telling him what he can or can't do probably won't work. Then again, there seems to be some people who have actually had success setting in that boundary with their H/W so I don't know? It's all situation dependent and you know your H best. For me, my WAW will just blow it off as I'm trying to control her life…

There are multiple success stories like the one of reachingHigher. All seem to have the basic DB principles in common…be PATIENT, and don't question or pry about OW/OM because it does no good, just pushes them further to OW/OM. Let them find their own path, and usually the grass is not greener on the other side.

I think that's awesome that you're H is asking you those things. Because it makes him worry/wonder if he is losing you. I do wonder though that if he stops trying to communicate to you, if he is giving up. In their minds, we are already "the bad guy." If you were him, how long would you keep trying to communicate with someone who you left when they are making it clear that they don't want to talk to you? Isn't it one of the DB principles that we shouldn't ignore, be angry, or cold when they reach out to us? I think Claire hit the nail on the head and maybe a simple reply like "Yea it has been really busy lately, I did this this and THIS!" This keeps the contact open, and I think pushes him even further to wonder, ok what is Lisa doing without me and why is she having so much fun.

Idk, these are just my thoughts, I could be way off base. Sandi/25years, if you're out there, I'd like to use my phone a friend and get your opinion on this!