S7 wants to come to my home to play some ps3 he is minecraft mad he loves that game, right now i have to make myself look the best I can and smell dam good just to pick up my S7 It's like a military operation just to pick up my son lol
Picked up S7 from W house and made small talk with W, she asked questions about my night out and she told me something funny that S7 did and I laughed and said god knows what he will be like when he is a teenager, and she said jokingly that is when he comes to live with you, it sort of knocked me a bit I thought I was making good progress but obviously she still can't see a future or am I reading to much into that comment?
W has invited me to her home for dinner quite a few times over the last few week's so I thought I better invite her and the kids to mine, I was unsure if to do so as it could come across as pursuing but then I thought it's the right thing to do, anyway I asked her and she said YES and thank you, so it's now planned for next Saturday, she obviously now likes my company, its just the attraction bit, I think I need to get a bit more touchy feely with her but not to sure how she will react
been out for a quiet drink with friend and he brought up the flirting i was doing a week gone Friday, says she is gorgeous and i should make a move and it would devastate W but i only have eyes for W and want my family back together
Picked up S7 from W house and made small talk with W, she asked questions about my night out and she told me something funny that S7 did and I laughed and said god knows what he will be like when he is a teenager, and she said jokingly that is when he comes to live with you, it sort of knocked me a bit I thought I was making good progress but obviously she still can't see a future or am I reading to much into that comment?
Well let's talk about it. You tell how you measure your progress. What determines you are making good or poor progress?
Apparently if she can make one statement (in a joking way,,,but maybe hitting to close to reality) and it completely pulls the rug out from under you, you must be measuring your progress by her and if she ever makes on reference that implies the two of you won't be together in the future........you give yourself a failing grade.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
Hi sandi well let me think signs I have had of progress She now calls and texts me directly instead of using D16 as a proxy
She now has no problem going in my car where as before she would not set foot in it
She never goes a day without contacting me
She randomly invites me to visit her home for dinner or just a coffee where before she could not even look me in the face
she takes a interest in what I'm getting up to especially my social life
D16 and her BF tell me she now talks about me again quite often
A couple of times she has mentioned the fun times we had where as before she just talked about how unhappy she was
About a month ago she told me if I had made all the changes for her she would never have left me, she was very emotional that day maybe I missed my chance to make a move
She quite often tells me I smell good
And a all round feeling that we are reconnecting but what worries me is that it could be just as friends not lovers
Every now and then she will throw in a comment to make me jealous She doesn't talk about a future with me and her together as a couple She flirts with men when we are in the same bar She wears sexier clothing when she goes out than she did when we were together She tries to give the impression she is enjoying the single lifestyle
Well its been about 7 months since BD and I have been Dbing for 5 month, I've seen lots of positive movement baby steps or is it just cake eating I just don't know,I know I'm in a better position than most as she has given me practically unlimited amount of time I can spend with her, just turn up when ever you want her words, but I don't know if I should spend more time with her to create a stronger bond or less time to make her miss me, it certainly is a marathon this dbing
And yet, you still measure your progress by her actions instead of your own. That is not uncommon for a LBH newcomer, but I suggest you stop watch her to grade yourself. For example, you listed the below as negative progress and not one thing has to do with you.
Quote:
Now the negative things
Every now and then she will throw in a comment to make me jealous She doesn't talk about a future with me and her together as a couple She flirts with men when we are in the same bar She wears sexier clothing when she goes out than she did when we were together She tries to give the impression she is enjoying the single lifestyle
These are things you cannot control b/c they belong to her. However, to be fair, I think I know how you mean it. You believe if you make huge progress then she will stop doing these things, right? But my point is that you are giving her the power to control your life. You are basing how well or poorly you operate on her choices/actions. In some cases, it can be a message to the guy to change something he may be doing wrong, but in other cases it is simply due to that woman's bad decisions.
You will know you have grown when you can come here and say, "I was not swayed by her impolite comment about me". "I kept my PMA in spite of no invitations from her". "I have been so busy GAL that I seem to not notice if she has not contacted me". "I have peace in my life and feel happy even though WAW has not budged about reconciliation". (Just a few examples.)
Many times a LBH places so much focus on winning back his WAW that once she does return, then he finds himself resenting her and having difficulty in forgiving her. Why? B/c to him it was all about getting her back. He did not place attention on himself, so it's like a delayed reaction when he gets her back again. He wins the prize and then doesn't want it.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
