Its a question that perplexes me as well. so i'm hoping you'll get a good answer

my guess is that it comes down to a mixture of things including:
- she needs to respect you to find you attractive and that means not looking weak ('wet noodle')
- people want what they cant have so she needs to think she cant have you (you become the forbiddent fruit)
- you have to defuse the negatives before the positives can have a meaningful affect

but i have to say that when one of the complaints was about distance or being cold it does seem weird that more of this might turn things around. I dont know anyone who has fallen for the person that pays them no attention. guess thats why they say this is counter intuitive

Both mid 30s, 2 young kids
BD 7sep14
XW moved on long ago, now living with OM1
D paperwork in progress