I got 99 problems but an MLCer ain't one!

[daring]

Uggh some more. I got back to my house in the cab and H was there as he was dropping off the kids. I walk in and he says " the dogs shattered the salt flavor test tubes- there was glass all over and the cats peed in D13s room." I hadn't even taken a breath. I said " ok- anything else?" He must have sensed the frustration in my voice and said " we took care of everything already".
He said kids had been very good, told me what kiddos each needed to work on. Then said " you seem overwhelmed" and told S8 to give me a minute.
S8 was all excited to decorate tree and H mentioned he had been waiting to do it.

Then he sat down for a few min- asked me if mom was still angry acting. I said not really but she said something g this morning that it would have been nice if i had called and checked on her ( she had forgotten I was there all day). I said I know she just forgot but it hit something for me. He said " hit what"? I didn't get to answer b/c the kids interrupted us. I was going to say that basically I feel like nothing I do is ever enough for anyone. Prob better that I didn't get to say it.
Then he said S16 has been sick for 4 days, strep test was neg but he thinks might be wrong. I said I can put him on an antibiotic.... He said well look at his throat first. I said if it's going on this long might as well try.
I was writing the prescription and he put his arm on my shoulder to say he was leaving and was I going to be ok. He seemed uncomfortable. I was a bit teary and said- I'll be fine.
He said ok I'll leave you alone- seemed maybe a bit annoyed? I said I wasn't trying to be ugly, I don't know how else to answer- what were you looking for?
He said " nothing" and seemed like he couldn't get out of there fast enough.

Of course my mind is spinning- oh he prob feels bad or uncomfortable b/c he's about to dump the D papers on me, or b/c he doesn't really care about me, or b/c we are doing Christmas decorating tonight ( though the kids tell me he has a tree too).
As I write this I'm thinking it could also be guilt at how overwhelmed and sad and alone I obviously feel. Who the F knows?!

I texted an hour or so after he left " Thank you for your help today. I apologize if I made you upset- I don't know what other answer to give when you ask if I'll be ok- fine is pretty much the only choice I have. "

I know I probably shouldn't have- but I just couldn't leave it alone. He hasn't responded. Prob won't.

I just feel like I'm hitting my emotional breaking point.
I know I need to get through tax hearing on Wed and then see how mom will do and plan as best I can.