On the brink, need a miracle

[Onguard]

WW has decided to postpone moving out indefinitely. This marks the 4th time she has told me she is leaving and failed to make the move. Also, she put up the tree and decorated the house while I was gone last week. I take this as an indication that her mind is all over the place. The part that upsets me is the fact that she has had 3 serious talks with our D13 about mom and dad living apart for a while. Only to change her mind later. I am concerned that this is putting our D13 through additional stress and will make it harder on her when the real move does come.

Last week ww met with an attorney and he told her not to leave the house. He indicated, according to her, that the courts will likely force me to leave because I travel for business and she is the primary caregiver of our D13. I have not had a chance to speak to my lawyer about that yet but it signals to me that I had better start preparing for a vicious D. I am going to buy a var and keep it with me at all times in case she tries to accuse me of any type of domestic abuse. It is surreal that our relationship has gotten to this point.

For my part I have been executing the 180 better than ever. I am trying to accept that our M is not likely to be saved. My emotions are swinging all over the place. When I see a commercial about a family enjoying the holidays my heart sinks. Then I see her getting dolled up to go to spin class and my blood boils. (She still attends the same studio where her "former" ap works). She does not attend on days when he works but it is still a slap in my face and a testament to her lack of interest in our M.

However, I would be lying if I said that part of me was still not hoping for a miracle.