Busting a Move - LisaB Ch6

[TLEE86]

Hey Lisa, sorry you're in this situation. I struggle with the exact same thing…

I don't usually contact WAH first, he contacts me. And lately he is very friendly, helpful and caring. If I reply with brief answers it doesn't really accomplish anything. We are still in contact and nothing changes. He just keeps texting me nearly every day and each day is a new challenge on how to respond briefly.

My WAW does the same thing- I barely initiate any contact but feel like I should respond back to her because IMO it is rude if you don't say anything back? I think BigMac brings up a good point when he says to wait and not respond immediately (I usually wait 30min) so it doesn't seem like we're just desperately waiting to hear from them

If you respond to his texts, he thinks you're friends and you run the risk of being put in "the friend's zone". He has no impetus to change his behavior, because he's calling the shots.

But, does frequent, light texting allow him to interact with you and realize you're changing/have changed?

This one…I have no idea what's the right answer, I plan to ask my DB coach tomorrow but I tend to lean towards the 2nd answer, that frequent/light texting allows my WAW to interact with me and I get to show what's changed. If anything else, I feel like in order to get my WAW to fall back in love with me, I need to continue contact with her? IMO, if I don't acknowledge what she has to say to me when she is clearly reaching out for communication between us, how can I get her to fall back in love?

I am definitely trying to take the "Mozza Approach" and "shine as much as I can." Do you worry at all that by not responding to his texts that he might just think, well she's obviously moved on or doesn't want to talk to me anymore so…I'll just go live my life without her? I ask because this is what I think about all the time if I stop replying to her…but sometimes I feel like replying back to her just enables her behavior. Has your H asked you why you aren't responding to him? I know my WAW would start calling and say "Hey why aren't you talking to me anymore." And I wouldn't know how to respond to that without giving her an ultimatum of lets work on the M if you want to keep talking or talk to me when you've figured it out. Thoughts?