New Here and need help

[Cathy54]

After both separating (My divorce was finalized 4+ years ago, his is almost there...another story in there too, obviously!.. No drama from either side from x-spouses) from long-time spouses, we met on-line and have been dating 5 years, 4 of them from a distance (300 miles) because he had to move for his job. He also travels a lot, so is often in other cities. He comes here almost every weekend and when traveling, comes in and out of this city and not where he works from. We are in our mid-fifties and i want to rebuild this relationship....i think.
I recently discovered he has been cheating for at least the time he has been moved away! He has dated many different women, always letting them think he was single and explained his time away on weekends (almost without fail, he was here for weekends and always for holidays) as visiting his kids and extended family.
He would tell me he was going to Meet-ups, but not mention that he was meeting with someone particular at these functions and I always told him to have fun! Silly me! But I didn't think I had any reason to worry and I didn't expect him to just sit at home all the time.
He has invested a LOT of sweat equity and money in helping me with my house.... We have attended events on both sides of our family as well as friends both here and where he is for work and we were planning on a future. Our kids come over - all college age or older- and since my daughters' father is not involved, he does a lot for them. So not only did we talk about our future, his actions all pointed to us having a future.
When confronted about his cheating, he said he was wrong, wanted to keep our relationship and would stop. I am not sure he has and when I told him I was scared and needed reassurance, he agreed to send picts on phone of where he was at a given point (lol, I did this when D was a teenager and I was keeping her honest about where she was!) or for him to call at certain times, but then he didn't and became angry that I was doubting him....
He left last weekend after Thanksgiving mad.... That's another story, but I think maybe unconsciously?? he picked a fight to leave angry? He then emailed Monday saying he wasn't trying to punish me by not talking to me, but didn't want to say something stupid and that he needs some alone time to figure out if he is fit to be in any relationship.....which I am wondering, too. I waited until he emailed me and we have texted and emailed this week, but not spoken. He supposedly left alone to go to a cabin for the weekend to 'think,' he has not contacted me and I have not contacted him this weekend.
We went to a counseling session the Wed. before Thanksgiving which he said freaked him out a bit?? but wouldn't expand on, but with him being gone much of the time will make joint counseling difficult, but he did say he would work it out. Right now, the schedule of our counselor and his schedule, means he will not be able to get back to a session until January.
I picked up Divorce Remedy at the library yesterday.... Need help!