Thanks for the kind wordS, I really do appreciate them.
I look back on the sitch and refuse to believe that this is the person that I love. When I finally was able to have a conversation this week, it renewed my hope.
I can understand how bad decisions and lies can begin to compound until it consumes and overwhelms the true person inside. I think that's where she is right now and I pray that she and her faith can get her out of this sitch. I think she can if she changes her mind that this is what is going to make her happy, I just need to have more patience than I'm comfortable that I have in me right now. I know I'll be all right in the end, I just need to work on my patience. That's where my growth will come. While I want W back for me, the kids are what is really allowing me to not get too frustrated right now. I said to someone, what's the harm in being patient 3,6,12 months to see if W can work this out for herself when it can affect the rest of your kids lives? I'm in a state with a one year wait period to file.
However, I still need to work on myself. I'm still struggling with her saying she feels emotionally unsafe around me. I partially attribute that to her pulling away for the last year as she has concealed her A. She was struggling with it, but since I was clueless, I had know way of empathizing with her. I remember when she would say things about her struggles generically, we would talk about her job, kids, house, etc. We would resolve the issues, or so I thought. I'm sure it was tough watching me 'tell her' about these things while she was struggling inside with something much more difficult. We always leaned on each other for emotional support throughout our M, so she/we didn't have the tools to deal with an emotional struggle that she couldn't tell me about. I just wish I had found out sooner so we could have addressed it while together.
For me, I know that I'm a pretty understanding guy, but I always revert to moderation and logic when dealing with issues. As you said, I need to let go of the logic and really concentrate on how she is very sensitive to my criticism right now. It's going to be tough..
Last edited by MCS; 12/07/1403:37 AM.
M:36 W:37 T: 15 M:11 S6 D5 BD: 8/10/14 IDLY: 8/12/14 S: 8/13/14 (she left, I stayed w/ kids) D Mentioned: 10/15/14 Confronted about OM: 10/15/14 EA: ~4/13 PA: ~10/13 She filed: 8/15 (not final)
