Busting a Move - LisaB Ch6

[gan]

Hey, Lisa. I'm not sure if I should be offering advice since I feel like I am totally nebulous and off track in my own situation. But part of that is not knowing whether there is OW, depression, MLC…doesn't really change the approach but does contribute to me feeling like I don't get it. In your situation there is a clear obstacle.

I've said before that you seem to have "tolerated" the OWs situation in ways that a lot of people here haven't. By tolerated I mean that you have continued to hang out with H and spend time together. In some ways you are enabling his cake eating whereas others have drawn a line in the sand and told their S not to cross it until OW/OM is out of the picture. It takes guts and I hope I am never in a situation where I have to do that.

I don't think you need to ask what his intention is when he reaches out. And I definitely don't think you should do any snooping (since it makes you feel bad). I do think that you need to make it clear to your H that it bothers you that he continues to see OWs and that you don't want anything to do with him as long as that continues. That last bit is true, isn't it?

From what I have read, most of the people who R after A seemed to have set a pretty firm boundary and stuck to it. MrBond, Starsky for example. And there are people who are currently laying down the boundary and their S is all over it. HPoirot seems to have created all kinds of panic in his W by laying down the law. Tina825 just popped onto my radar and is another good example.