I am dreading these holidays - to top it off I have just had an email from my b saying that they have invited a few more to spend the day with us - just when I was wanting to take a long walk and forget it this year.
Thanks Job for saying about the OW and them playing Happy Families - I know my boys will just put up with it all, but from past meetings she goes over the top being nice and although they have both said "mum, its so false" I just feel like I am missing out on what has always been a family holiday - My boys always made it home for the holidays no matter where they were.
I have done as much as I can to keep a little bit of me with them - Have done them each a stocking for C/mas Morn - they used to come in and open it with me and their d, I always reacted surprised at all their gifts from f/c, at 20&17 they think its hilarious I still act like F/C is real .... he is isn't he??!! .
And yesterday we had lasagne for dinner (our first year in NZ we could not decided what to have for christmas dinner as it was really odd having Christmas in the sunshine, so S17 -was 10yrs - came up with having lasagne, so we did and each year I make a lasagne as an extra) and we had crackers - it was lovely.
As for S17 - he just breezed in to get some togs as off to the beach, so I told him to tell his friend the car needs to be gone by Friday morning or I call a tow truck. Plus I want him home tomorrow to sort out his room and what he wants to keep from the house - plus find a place to store it. He agreed - said he feels better now S20 gone (wondering if its a jealously thing as he has had me to himself for 6 months and we have become very tight)
Got a massive headache now, have not had one for ages. Think the stress is starting to build - on the countdown now, busy week. Picking up my ticket on Tuesday - at the moment it doesn't seem real - and I suppose I held on to the hope he would stop me - but silence from him.
