wow- some good progress there...I'm glad to hear WAW is being so friendly! Msg for no reason, that's awesome! I totally don't blame you for getting discouraged in your sitch- but right now that feeling may be keeping you from seeing the good things that are starting to happen! If you're getting personal looks and body language from W, that means she's drawing closer. Flirting almost! This is how mine started coming around! I think you are on to something with increasing the no pressure, relax/casual thing.. breed those come hither looks! Yeah, I, too- used to feel like I was walking on eggshells around H- they can sense that tense energy and then are wary with you. Vibes mean everything. But if we act like everything's cool, and we're happy- that gets the best response. I think it's meant a great deal for my sitch that I have been repeteadly cool time after time, even with bomb comments. Remember the way to conquer is to come up alongside.. flow with WAW and use your subtle bright light, wise secret knowledge to turn it your way.
What I've found really helpful in my sitch is also confronting some of the issues WAS has and using that in your DB-- to connect with her and show the new you simultaneously.. Like if one of W's big issues is drinking/smoking? Let her know you're doing other stuff on weekend nights all the time(not at bar) Drop comments here and there about how much better you feel now that you are clearheaded, etc.. Show her that new lifestyle you have with "I" statements. Make it seem like you did it for you and you're really enjoying this- it was long overdue..or something. Sneak these comments in casually- (for example- "Massages are my stress relief now- much healthier, more balanced for me, they're the best here at your place!) Reiterate her viewpoints about it, like this is your value/opinion now too. If W used to say you ignored her b/c of it- comment about how much you enjoy seeing the things she's doing.. (I've even used this in smaller interest areas like music- you're right H- don't know why I never noticed that amazing band before!)
Key to focus on your similarities and commonalities with W. This is basic psychologogy that people are attracted to those they can connect with in their current values, interests, passions- those who have similar lifestyle,etc. Maybe it's about time you check out some punk music?! heehe! Completely mirror her in even small things like behaviorisms, tone of voice, communication style.
Some things I've noticed in your sitch that you could expand upon is where you and W may have differences to bridge that gap.. She seems to be having money issues. So, maybe keep doing small, cheap/free things for her- don't flaunt the money card perhaps. Another thought is the lifestyle difference right now, I think you said W is living more casual/lower standard? Maybe show some ways you are matching her more there- more casual clothes when you see her? Act like you fit with her, as she is now- if you catch what I'm saying. Keep up with the little favors, that seems to be huge- Maybe you could be the one to start bringing her coffee now, and hey did you hear that grunge band playing at club, I heard they were cool, I'm gonna check it out. If this is a total 180 for you, that's awesome- Hey, maybe 24-yr old salon girl likes grunge! You can do this man!!!
Last edited by rj2; 03/14/0403:49 AM.
Master the self-fulfilling prophecy.. Act 'as if' it's going to happen and make it be!!
Flirting almost! This is how mine started coming around! I think you are on to something with increasing the no pressure, relax/casual thing.. breed those come hither looks! Yeah, I, too- used to feel like I was walking on eggshells around H- they can sense that tense energy and then are wary with you. Vibes mean everything. But if we act like everything's cool, and we're happy- that gets the best response. I think it's meant a great deal for my sitch that I have been repeteadly cool time after time, even with bomb comments. Remember the way to conquer is to come up alongside.. flow with WAW and use your subtle bright light, wise secret knowledge to turn it your way.
