Wife Still in MLC but has now left #7

[AJM]

You can only find one funny thing about them, Matt? You're not really trying

I was wondering if the not allowing to speak thing was part of the script

My thought? They already had the conversation and they don't have the self-confidence (of a turnip?) to be able to withstand any other opinion than the one they already rehearsed in their head. I.e. they have had the conversation so many times and think that they know what you'll say, that you being there is really just to get it over with so they can stop hearing the words in their heads. Hence the next day feeling like a tea pot that tipped over and poured out their steam. During the time I spoke to my ex it was more like she couldn't hear vs. wouldn't. So much pressure trying to get out but she couldn't figure out how. In the beginning, I would "help" (I thought I was helping; silly me) by picking a fight. I went with my instincts. But once I realized (shortly) that I was just a punching bag? I stopped. My daughter noticed it. She asked me once about. She said, "daddy, you need to pick a fight with mom so she'll calm down" Nope. Not the punching bag.

That's what it seems like, but who really knows?

As LT mentioned, throw that concept out of the vocab. You can only co-parent when there's a "co". You needed to find out if it was possible. Now you know.

I know they speak badly of me and her sister in front of her plus she probably heard W on phone spewing at me.

this won't be fun, but is that something you feel you should nip in the bud? What if you did? What if you don't? What do you as a father need to do here?

no I don't need her approval but it still does bother me that she really seems to believe that her actions are totally justified and uses her re-remembered past to "prove" to me how justified her actions are

Want to be free, Matt? If you do nothing else in the next few weeks, figure out why this bothers you and deal with it. Put it to rest because its a key element in the connection and disappointment and anger and....

Just for perspective, you're bothered by the opinion of a woman like that? One who can't/won't listen, goes on a tirade for hours without remembering (likely), does what she does to her kids, can't make her own decisions but instead relies on her father, blames you, etc....?




AJ