Thanks Carrie! You are very right, in the beginning I was so afraid I would mess things up, I was very tentative with any interaction with her, walking on eggshells, and I was not good at showing her through little actions how much I do think about her and us and how to convey that support to her.
You are right, I can communicate in a casual way by sending her a voicemail message with somthing helpful I might have thought about or somthing she should know. This action signals my thought and concern for her. I'll stick with mainly the business and dog helpful things since these are closest to her heart without opening up the tender thoughts about us. That is for later when we get to that point.
I'm getting better at it, but I really need to RELAX and not project this vibe of tenseness or making a statement. I have found if I try and stay relaxed and communicate in a casual way, that she responds much more favorably. I'll stick with non R topics right now, and casually and it might be helping to take the pressure off when we talk.
Thinking back on it, this is how she approached bringing up any problems between us. This was ineffective to me, since I need a face to face with quiet and that itself communicates it is important.
Communicating casually in her method, takes a lot of the stress and guilt factor out of it, like anything she says isn't going to be a catastrophe. I can accept it and we can still go on with our day without her crying and having an emotional breakdown.
Communication through body language is also important to set the vibe. I need to get better, RELAX. Don't be afraid of eye contact especially the kind that really connects and is even a little flirtaious. BREATHE, RELAX, BREATHE, RELAX.
