Claire -- still here #11...

[KGirl]

Claire, I don't really have a sense that it will work out for me, either (at least in terms of H coming back - we've set Dec. 14 as the date that I'll sign his filing paperwork) but I still think this is a good board to be a part of. Sometimes those conversations just need to be had, I think - you've said what you've wanted to say, maybe now you can feel a little more at peace knowing you've said everything you could (that you may have been holding back for awhile now) and there's no more you can do, at least regarding H. After I had a similar conversation I now don't have lingering doubts like "maybe he didn't know I'm still invested in this.. maybe he thinks I gave up." I told him how I felt about it, he is still making this choice, that's all we can do. Now it's time to focus on yourself. I don't post much because I don't usually feel like I have good advice... and I don't have kids so it's hard for me to relate to that part (even when I think I have something to say, I'm reluctant to because what do I know, I don't have kids!) But I do read all your posts.

Speaking of reading your posts... re: the house. Does your H have any interest in keeping/living in the house? Could you sell it to him and you move out w/ D? Assuming it will work that way where you live and based on your situation (if I'm remembering correctly you have your own income so it's not like it's solely paid for by him?) even if he doesn't want to live there, maybe he'd agree to buy it and then he can take care of whatever he wants to do with it after that point (rent it out, sell it, live in it, whatever?) Then you could get your payout without the hassle! My H thinks the house is a "good investment" so I'll be selling it to him, and therefore he's taking care of all the refinancing, title stuff, etc., and all I need to do is sign it over to him (and get the check!!) If he wants to sell it later, fine, not my problem - I can wash my hands of it.