It stinks. But there was most likely nothing you could have done b
I've been thinking a lot about this lately. The idea that we can fight to save our Ms. The reality is that we can't do anything to bring our spouse back. There aren't as many Rs as there are Ds. And those that do R- while I'm sure they worked hard, they also had a spouse that came back. Give 25 or Starsky a spouse that wasnt able to do their own work or look back at some point and they wouldn't have a restored M. So this doesn't mean you did something wrong. For all I know you are the best DBer in history and for stack with a due of a WAH.
I know DBing is healthy and effective, I know it's a win even when it's a loss. I just don't like the fact that it seems to prolong the grieving process for those that are on this path. Detachment is key, but he line between detachment and denial (secretly hoping it will work out) is a thin one to the untrained eye.
Doesn't change how unfair that feels. I just know that while I never, ever, ever x 1,000,000 wanted to have to accept a D...at least I will know that I did everything I could, and I'm not just another person that shrugged and wrote off the M and jumped into a rebound. No, I'll be able to look my next partner in the eyes and tell proudly what I did, and commit that loyalty to them.
At this point I wish you the strength to truly let go as he's probay gone, but the strength to continue on your road for YOU as well. You will at least know you walked a road you're proud of and have the skills to do better with a partner who's commitment matches yours next time.
Me:38 XW:38 T:11 years M:8 years Kids: S14, D11, D7 BD/Move out day: 6/17/14, D final Dec 15
