New & seeking advice on what to do

[DaneMom]

Wonka thanks for the feedback. I am terrible at communicating effectively with him (hence one of a few major reasons I am in this position now). How about this?

....Granting you access to the timeshare account puts me in an uncomfortable position since you removed my access to the hotel rewards account. A good compromise so that we both have what we want/need would be for us to both grant the other access to these two accounts. Does this sound like a reasonable solution?.....

On another related note with regards to communicating, 180s, and LRT. One of H's biggest issues with me through the past 4+ years has been that I haven't been good about communicating with him. That I withdrew from him, didn't let him 'in'. My lack of opening up to him and eventual lack of sexual attraction (due to diminished emotional connection) is what hurt him the most. Though he has still not admitted it, I know that is why he is involved with OW in EA (or PA by now). She pursued him (from what friends have pointed out to me she's done this before) and is giving him what he was lacking from me.
So if I am in LRT due to pending divorce, do I not attempt to work on that particular 180... my opening up and communicating freely with him? For me to detach, I find myself not wanting to communicate or be around him.

Also, me working on my GAL and detachment has meant lately that I am unavailable a lot of the time when he wants to discuss divorce stuff or visit the dog. The fact that I am busy and not available then leads to him accusing me of still controlling the timing of all our interactions even though I tell him I have plans. So I feel like no matter what I do, it doesn't matter where he is concerned. Like he is too far gone to R with me.... very discouraging ....