SS had a good idea, make it a date with some girlfriends, some wine, cheese, crackers, grapes? After the three maybe play some board game, or some poker, just for fun.
And... maybe it's time to pick yourself up and read DB, DR again and Sandy's list. You want to show your vulnerability right now, so you can use this as yours 180s. How you behave when you are tough? Maybe try to do "as if".
At some point, things will get better. Try do think that the priority is to make positive changes on you, respect and allow yourself to love yourself.
It's very hard, the hardest thing you will ever do in your life, but you need to "LET GO" and start doing things you like. Maybe you don't even know what you like, but try small things first and see if that smile shows up again.
Today I will ring the Salvation Army bell for one hour in front of a supermarket... it may be silly in many people's opinion, but I am having a blast to know that I will help a little bit someone that has less then what I have. It makes me feel good and I can even forget H for awhile.
This time of the year is very good for doing some volunteering, look for things that can enrich your spirit. Work out, go for a bike ride, walk.
The more you feel good about yourself, the more your H will think about what he is loosing. He thinks about you, he is just so mixed up right now that he can't bring himself to face his own situation.
Go back and check your priorities, your goals, concentrate in things that work and don't do what does not work. Be patient, patient, and when you think you are done be more patient.
About the Xmas tree... why do you do it in the first place? I do my Xmas tree because I am catholic and I believe it's a symbol of my faith in God, so for me it has nothing to do with H, I do it for myself because my faith does not change with H or without him. Just a tough.
And put some eye cream, crying can make your eyes baggy and you want to be gorgeous... this is to make you laugh!!!! kkkkk
