I really am trying not to post anything negative because I don't want to focus on that but I really am having a tough time keeping my PMA up these past couple of days. I just feel like I've been trying so hard for 5 months and all WAW does is try to avoid me or push for papers.
I am going to review all my notes this weekend and really look for baby steps. It kinda feels like I'm looking for crumbs when I'm famished and starving.
I just feel discouraged and fed up. I want so much for our M to work but everytime I see or talk with her she mentions papers and have I looked at them. I'm about to go ahead and do it. I don't know if it will draw her back to me, but at least it will release the pressure she feels and the pressure she puts on me. I'd like everyones opinion please.
Has anyone that has busted their D REALLY FELT it was hopeless and over? WAW has made a new life for herself that doesn't include me and she says she is pretty happy now and she isn't changing her mind. Won't even consider options openly or try.
I'm going to stop by the business after my C session to see the dog and ask for another overnight visitation. I'm tempted to call today and let her know in a friendly voice I'm very overwhelmed with work (doing 3 jobs right now since two people are on vacation), taxes, my parents fire, insurance claims, etc etc. I haven't forgotten about her D papers (don't say her bec of blame and guilt?) and will get to it soon. This would be a 180 for me to address it before she even brings it up, like defusing a bomb before it goes off?
I'm going there with an as if attitude that she is my friend, relaxed, no pressure, and that is all. I will walk the dog for an hour and then return her without being overly chatty or attentive and see how that goes.
My basketball team reached the city finals and we play tonight, so there is somthing I can look forward to.
