Quote: The openesss feeling I have felt at times as well. Just hard for me to get her to even talk, she might start then try to run away before it gets deeper and she starts crying more. How do you respond during these times? Do you say I'm sorry you feel that way and then rephrase or repeat what she said to you? Is she crying or sad? Do you mirror her moods and do you cry?
She's been crying less, but I can still see the hurt when she starts to talk about the past and how she felt. Previously I had cried with her, but that didn't seem to get us anywhere, and she has said she doesn't want to cry anymore, she just wants to be happy. So the last time she was on the edge of crying I tried something different, I don't know exactly how well it worked, but it was different, and it kept her talking...
I felt really bad she was about to cry, and I think my expression showed it too, I leaned towards her just a little and I said, "W, please don't cry, I know how much it hurts, but I want to see you happy..." She stopped at like one or two tears and we lightened up the conversation a little with some humour and kept talking. We didn't resolve anything, but that wasn't really the point, I just want her to know that we can talk about anything, and I will look after her feelings when we are together.
Quote: it just shows me how far you have really come in your understanding of DR. You have really grasped it quickly.
Thank you very much. I actually reread my entire thread a couple of days ago, and I was amazed to see how far things had actually come, and how much DBing has done not only for my sitch, but for me personally as well.
