Synopsis of sitch: married 11 yrs, me 41, SO 38, sons 12 & 19. Bomb (EA, dissatisfaction) 3/03. Therapy 4/03-2/04. DB began in 4/03 but (as relationship deteriorated even further) begun anew with DB counseling session on 2/18. SO has never recommitted but has never said is moving out (moving to basement is worst). I HOWEVER have created a lot of drama, taking off, saying I'm moving out, yada yada. SO HATES DRAMA. So, I'm on 3 weeks of "sobriety" in not talking about R per Dotty and effects are beginning.

Last night engaged SO in friendly computer game but said I wouldn't unless SO cheered up (very very very mopey). SO apologized and said would try (loves this computer game :-). I gave hugs, SO softened and we had the best night in many weeks. Read to me in bed this morning, made coffee, gave friendly kisses.

Thanks for letting me share a small success. I'm being UPBEAT (but not gross) CALM KIND GENEROUS and providing space as well. SO is still very down (I know waiting for my drama to hit which I REFUSE TO LET HAPPEN), apologizes for being no fun to be with, etc. I just keep behaving in a new way.

Hugs to all!

Kelly Favorite quote from DB boards: You can't talk your way out of situation you behaved yourself into.