Great job on the list and on re-framing things in a positive manner.
Let me make a suggestion; try and rewrite some of them to focus on the positive ACTION, instead of avoiding doing the negative.
For example:
* "I'd never sulk" ==> "I will conduct myself in a positive manner, even when I am upset."
* "Stop needing external validation" ==> "Look inside myself for the validation and good feelings I seek".
* "Stop making everything about me" ==> "I will not take things personally since they're really not about me."
I could do the rest but I'd like you to do it.
So take out "Stop" and add in "Do, will... etc." -----------------------------------------------------------
I know this seems like a lot of work to go through, but think of it as really focusing on YOURSELF. You can't really think too much about your sitch while you're doing things like this. It's a positive distraction. --------------------------------------------------------------
That said, from your list I see a LOT of Asperger-y things. Numbers 3, 8, 13-20, and 29--have my bells going "Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding!" They also fit with ADHD.
Now, I'm no doctor, but I often play one on DBing forums...
Those exact items would have been on my list years ago. But I am living proof that you can identify and work on these things. They would not even make my list today. (Okay, maybe just a little, like the one about reason and logic. But I don't think that's a bad thing, unless I get frustrated with others for refusing to use it! Arrrrggghhhhh! Drives me NUTS!)
However, most of us need help in making these changes because it's hard to know "how" to accomplish them.
For example--it's easy to say "Detach" but HOW can one do the ACTION of detaching? That's the hard part.
You can't just say "relax" and expect someone to relax. Instead maybe you have to lie down, tense your whole body, then think about relaxing just your toes, picture limp noodles in your arms... get the picture?
It's the PROCESS that we need to figure out and implement. What are the steps to be taken? How, when, where, and with whom will you take these steps? It needs to be broken down. Very LOGICALLY and in LISTED STEPS. (You oughta like that! ) ---------------------------------------------------------------
I'm sure you will be following up on this list and the Asperger/Spectrum Diagnosis with your IC.
My hat is off to you!
It's a huge step, and it can be an adjustment. If you do get that diagnosis, there will be some grieving and anger as you understand how this may have impacted your life, But I know you will embrace the information, positive and negative, and embrace changes you need to make.
KNOWLEDGE IS POWER. Probably the last thing you think you need right now is a diagnosis like that, but think of it this way. You certainly will have a lot on your plate to keep you busy working on BEING A BETTER YOU.
PS: I really wish I was in Merry Olde England for Christmas!
I think we DBers could have one heck of a party! Ggrass could wear her eye-catching outfits and colored hair, and we could get you Ciroc dancing! (Sounds a bit like the swing dancing we do here...I'll have to check it out!) Ssonas is in Ireland--perhaps she could leave her bleak country cottage and her farm animals and join us.
