Shocked by W

[hjoseph]

Rule # 10: Do not spy on spouse by checking emails, phone bills, etc.

In the world of social media that we live in now, its kind of hard not to stumble onto something your spouse puts out there for the world to see. Checking FB as usual, I noticed the W posted three new statuses. First post, she praised her mother for every sacrifice she has made for her and called her a role model. She used one of our wedding pictures with her and her mother in it. Thought: Why our wedding picture? She has been denying our M for so long. Second post, its an image stating: "Love is not about sex, going out on fancy dates, or showing off. It's about being with a person who makes you happy in a way nobody else can." Thought: Is she trying to say I didn't make her happy and maybe she wants to find the one who will? Third post is an article and the reasons why you should marry the complicated girl. The article relates to everything I've always told her why I married her.

I really try not to think too much of it. I see them as bait. Maybe she knows I will see them and hoping to get a reaction out of me. But I can't help to think this might be a cry out for something? Of course, I will wait for her to engage and I don't want to try to read her or figure out what kind of mood she is in. But, it goes against what I really want to do and just ask her. It's a constant struggle between my heart and my mind. I know I am prepared to lose her if that is what she really wants, but I am also prepared to come back home if there was a chance. I don't want to miss my chance. I know waiting for some kind signal is not part of the plan to R and I really want her to come talk to me. Show me that you really us, our M and our family. She has to be deliberate and not secretive.

I don't know which way the W is leaning. She can never hold any feelings inside of her. Hoping the recent outburst of emotion on social media is her working her feelings out. Hopefully in my direction.