Busting a Move - LisaB Ch6

[LisaB]

Hi friends, just checking in and journaling.

Rereading DR. Always a good idea. These boards have good tips and lots of commiseration but we are really here because of MWD, so I like to go back to her advice to see if I am on the right track.

I reread about affairs and I reread the LRT. And I feel like I am currently in the After Last Resort Technique stage. I need to make my H realize that there is no relationship between us anymore.

I feel like he has to see what his life is like without me. He is "confused" and "lonely" and "sad" and "missing me" but apparently not enough to ask me to get back together. So maybe some time on his own will straighten out his confusion and he will figure out whether he is happy without me or not. I don't know. I think it is out of my control now.

My problem always comes in the next stage. He is loving, kind and friendly to me - reaches out, wants to spend time together. I don't know his intentions, and according to DB I can't really ask. The only way I really know what he is doing is by spying on him. And honestly, I HATE doing it and it makes me feel like crap. But that leaves me in the limbo of not knowing why he is being loving and friendly. Do I have to be dark and distant until he straight out says "I want to get back together"?

If that is the case then OK. But I'm not so sure that is realistic.

Anyway, just thinking out loud.

We haven't communicated at all in more than a week and I have to say it feels OK. He did send me some nice texts but I didn't reply and still don't feel like it so I won't. I feel like being distant but maybe next week I won't. We'll see. Right now I want to protect myself from being just one of his harem of girls. That was really bothering me.

I hope everyone has a nice weekend!
hugs, Lisa