Bravo, I spent the whole evening reading about your riveting sitch- both threads . Holy moly! What an ordeal. Your W doesn't know what she is passing up. You really are in the trenches and have handled it with grace and true grit. Early on you were posting without much response, and I was wondering why no one was taking notice,yet you persisted. That is even more impressive because you did a lot on your own. You really put your ego aside in the interests of the R . Now you are a hero to your children and survived the big D with your integrity intact. How many can say that they truly tried everything to save their M. I expect that you may be grieving and that is totally understandable. You are human. But recognize that there is meaning in your ordeal and it was not for naught. You seem to be a better person for all this and a real man. It is a shame that not everyone knows how to appreciate that.
I have such a long way to go in comparison,but I have learned so much from how you have and are conducting yourself. I know you love your xW, but I don't think you need her to feel whole again. I know you will find fulfillment in your new life without her, whether she ever comes back to her senses or not. Derive joy instead from your wonderful children and cherish every moment with them. One day you'll link back and smile at what a shining example you set in the face of adversity. You really took the high road in choosing to work on yourself and not be vindictive and self righteous.
You asked many times about WAW success stories. I would argue that yours is one. I think you just need to redefine what success means. It's like the wizard of Oz. The lion had courage all along and just didn't know it. In the same way,you have been successful all along. You were looking for external validation. To quote ericmsart: the star is inside of you.
Respect,
RAI
P.S. Loved the expression "unicorn farts". Had not heard that one before.
