I thought everything was okay...(Part 2)

[MCS]

So, if anyone can help me out. I'm looking for the next step...I think I'm just getting impatient because I saw the first glimpse of better interaction. Should I just hold tight or try to expand on some of the things in our weekly counseling (mediation) sessions?


So as I stated above, W had a fairly emotional apology to me @ counseling. Now, I told the counselor that this would be the first thing I needed to start to trust her, so I'm sure he clued her in on that. However, it seemed as if she hit the things that I thought it should. She accepted (some) blame on M issues, told me she betrayed me, needed to earn my trust, etc.


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She did let me in on a couple things before the apology while she was defensive it was all my fault, that I need to figure out. Some of this is I know is re-writing history (especially most of this was during A, not before,) but its how she feels right now. No. 1 here I can say I agree with her right now, especially because I'm having trouble trusting her.

1) She felt I had requirements on her in our M and now that we're separated; I'm still putting req'ts on her as a mom (I've been openly concerned in situations she's put the kids in)

2) She was overwhelmed Fall '13 and didn't feel like I helped her @ home at all. I do remember I was busy at work and kids were younger. I started do what she asked. (home earlier from work, help more w/kids.) I got confirmation from her directly and also a friend that W said I was better after that conversation and I was much better since then. However, This was also around the time when OM R started to take hold according to W.

2) Told me she 'shut down' after she told me she was unhappy last Nov. and I told her she was acting like a martyr (I did say this, I was mad at the time) I apologized later because it was too harsh and I had thought it was a 'bad day' thing at the time. Nothing much before or after that day about that argument or any other unhappiness.

3) She thought I was 'tracking' her cell phone. We had it turned on our phones for years and she started to not want to keep it on. I remember asking her why a couple times, but didn't think anything of it. I found out she told friends I was yelling at her about it (I never even was mad that I can remember, I was just confused why she was so adamant to keep it off and asked her a couple times.) This was during A time period.