I think I didn't explain myself clearly. I definitely would want to avoid court. But I've heard that many agreements stipulate that one parent has ultimate decision making over education, for example, while perhaps the other has ultimate decision over religious-related things. So, the parties agree to attempt to come to an agreement, but if they can't, there is a default. I'm not sure that running to mediation every time there is an unresolvable conflict is the answer. I don't know.
I need to pump myself up to go in strong tomorrow. I need to try to see some positives in him, if only because that is the kind of person I want to be-- with friends, with students, with everyone in my life. I tend to jump to a negative interpretation.
I have some questions regarding finances for him-- how is his paycheck being distributed. And it's probably time to have some sort of financial separation-- even if it's just setting up a joint fund for expenses for our D or something like that. A friend gave me the great idea to ask for a "vacation fund" to be set up-- to be contributed to proportionally by both of us, and then split in half, so we each have funds to take her on vacation. I hate the idea of him being 'fun dad' because he has more money.
I'm still not sure if I want to keep or sell the home. I'd need to have child support for probably at least a year before I could even apply for a mortgage on my own. But do I really want to take on a mortgage for a home I don't even love? And as for selling it... I would need some concessions: either $ for a weekly housekeeper while it's on the market, and/or some other perk every time we'd have to leave for an open house or showing, and I was even thinking of setting me and D up in a temp rental (or permanent rental) while house is up for sale-- I mean, it's kind of unfair that he'll get to profit from the sale of the house without being inconvenienced by it AT ALL? Why don't I get to just MOVE OUT and then get a big fat check when it's sold??
There is a place in this for me to be angry at his selfish, juvenile behavior. Regardless of the fact that he and I were both unhappy, there is just no reasonable excuse for someone to abandon their marriage the way he did. I don't need to be spiteful about it, but I also don't need to protect him from the natural consequences of his ridiculous decision.
Ack. I don't even know how to make a plan for XMas vacation. This totally suxx.
