The Black Knight Lost in the End

[LoisB]

Ok. I had a really good day and it sorta scares me.

The editor gave me kudos and said I was rapidly picking this job up. The publisher called him down to the office and the editor told the publisher that I'm doing great and told him the above.

The publisher, then, sent me an email with an atta boy for handling a situation with a disgruntled reader.

Then, we went to this absolutely, ridiculously awesome counselor. All three of us went.

She said sorta what I believe...It was validating.

She said that when you break away from a toxic situation like we did...there's a ripple effect. I had told her about the sexual assault and the domino effect of things that seemed to have followed us from Ohio. She said that I'm redefining myself and she pointed out how each of us has had to face a different demon with this move. D20 is facing humility. I'm having to assert myself and D12 is facing change.

Both girls felt comfortable and seemed so much more relieved and positive after the appointment. We felt hopeful again.

I received an email from my atty during the appt. saying the court approved my request to use the phone instead of travelling to Ohio. My atty still wants me to come. I don't know yet what I want to do. But, I was terrified of opening another email. TERRIFIED. I thought for sure it would be something else awful...he is asking for custody or whatever.

For tonight, I'm taking the good and trying to calm my nerves down a bit.

I know I can handle whatever I decide to do.

Smokey is feeling like less than a threat and, somehow, that's a really scary feeling to live without so much fear. How freaky is that?