Confusion is getting better, I think...

[Okabe]

Feeling panicky.
Worried how long it will take for W to bring up a R talk. When talking to my best friend over the weekend (who has known us both for 20+ years). He pointed out a few things.
He said: "While you do a lot of the stuff in your marriage, XXX decides the mood and course of your marriage, I have seen it she always does."
When I mentioned being worried about Divorce being filed. He said:" I don't think she ever will. She likes the status quo too much and always has. She doesn't move to do things, you do".
I told him I worried about being stuck in this weird holding pattern indefinitely. He told me as far as he could tell we had been in the same holding pattern for 20 years.

He had some interesting points.
What I don't like today.
How easy she adapted to me not saying ILY or initiating any affection. It makes me feel down and anxious this afternoon (or perhaps that is just too much caffeine).
I won't do or say anything. I just needed to get this out.

Blech.