Mozza (5)

[Mozza]

Oh thanks, that's exciting. DB really starts in 2014, but here's some context.

Feb 2005: We meet in her country, at our workplace. Start dating in 3 weeks (check for patterns!).
Sept 2005: We moved to the US (neither our country). It's the first time she lives with a BF.

May 2007: We decide to have a baby.
March 2008: Our first daughter is born. 5 months maternity leave. W happy to go back to work.

May 2009: W has an A with a sweet-talking, married colleague. EA first, then PA during business trip. He disappoints and she wakes up, preferring to keep our family together. She confesses A to me, I forgive her, we move on. Not much is done for lasting changes.

May 2010: We get married, mostly for visa reasons, at 3 weeks notice. We have a small ceremony at city court, matching outfits, pictures, 7-8 friends, meal, etc. W insist it's a M for love, not for papers (I agree!). Pictures go up in the house.

Jan 2011: We decide to start paperwork to move to my country (she initiated the idea). Painful bureaucratic process takes its toll.
Sept 2011: Second daughter is born. W very very attached to her. 4 months maternity leave. She develops some anxiety not long after. Gets some medication.

June 2013: We move to my country. I start my company, she's jobseeking and freelancing. It's a career change for her, I'm supportive. She spends over a year mostly at home and discovering this new city, which she prefers to the previous one. She develops an adaptation trouble and takes anti-depressants for it, but says she's happy with the move. We argue more often and intensely, sometimes in front of kids, which she dislikes a lot. Love tanks empty.

Aug 2014: W finds a job in an exciting startup full of people in their 20s. They go out several times a week, drink at work, have chess games and Playstations, etc. True startup.
Sept 2014: W announces she wants S. Wants to be alone, not in a couple. Acknowledges that "work" has made her see a better life. Two weeks after first mention of S, she's in her own apartment (move paid by well-off parents) a quarter-mile from my apartment. Colleagues, including OM, do the heavy lifting. I'm not involved.
Oct 2014: OM is confirmed when D6 tells me at Halloween that OM is there 4-5 days a week including in the morning. He was giving gifts, invitation, compliments from day 1. He's handsome, athletic and 10 years my junior. I'm not surprised. I say nothing. A week later, W emails me the announcement saying she "owed me the truth" and I should do the same if I meet someone, because of the kids.
Nov 2014: D6 announces that OM will move in with W in January. I suspect love but also financial reasons.

The separation arrangement is not in writing: we agree on just about everything: kids 50/50, alternating week, we don't have a car or house, we always kept separate accounts, etc. Kids continue to go to the same school and daycare. We now have separate wardrobes for them. Barely need to communicate and when we do, it's cordial (Thanks! You're welcome!). W will go to her country for Holidays and I keep the kids for 2.5 weeks.

We had some tensions in the first weeks because she was dealing with S and also issues at work (too much work, nasty boss). I never argued back and she calmed down. She invited me for lunch twice: first one (Sept 30) we were a mess, second (Nov 5) just after OM announcement is the near-perfect DB lunch with chit chat and laughs. She contacted my parents to say she missed them and that she and I get along so well. She sends me those random emails and engages in banter. She told me and other people have told me that she doesn't really talk about the S and when she does, it's a somewhat "official version" about us being incompatible. She says she doesn't want to look back because she's going forward.

Anything else might be useful? I'm very grateful for your attention.