I fixate on the little things, too, Claire. In the moment they don't feel so little though, do they? I'd want D with me as she turned another year older, too.
When dealing with someone who can be punitive it makes us punitive, too, and it's hard to level out and act from a grounded place of reasonable perspective.
I'm with you on the no contact thing. When I don't see H or talk to him I am SO MUCH better mentally with all this. Life and co parenting means I can't withdrawal completely into my own shell and fix myself without contact with him. It's hard. And painful. And roller coaster-y.
