The Black Knight Lost in the End

[job]

Heather,
I'm sorry things are still brewing a bit. As for the house, I know you are shocked it sold, but it's one less worry you have to deal w/and one less thing he can hold over your head. Evidently it wasn't in as bad a shape as he described to you if it sold within 2 months after you moved out. This may be one of the things that he'll need you to sign off on when you go there December 15th because your name is on the mortgage, etc.

I'm glad you spoke w/the nice editor today. At least he understands where you are coming from and knows what you are dealing with. As for the perfectionist, maybe you remind him of himself in his "younger" days. Maybe he's resentful that someone on his team didn't get the position and yes, he might have this thing about all of he little soldiers are right where he wants them, i.e., reporting to him every little tidbit that goes along. Whereas, you are very independent and some supervisors don't like that because they feel threatened. Yep, threatened.

Yes, it's difficult to accept that the marriage is just about over and the way that things are being handled doesn't help. MLCers tend to drag the lbs through the mud and then come up w/all sorts of petty stuff to hash out. They do tend to make the divorce more of an ordeal than a normal divorce. I've known people who are in the process of divorcing and they didn't come up w/some of the stuff these crisis people do. So, please do not think that it's only you that has had to deal w/crazy making stuff. Look at Wishing/Hoping. She went through a lot of crazy stuff and now she's doing so much better and life is far better for her now. We all have to walk through the darn weeds in order to get to the flower bed of roses. Your turn is coming and the roses will smell so delightful when you finally get through weed infected lawn.

It's good that all of you had your meltdowns last night and finally expressed the frustrations that all of you are dealing with. You are asking questions that are rational and logical...he's neither of those. He doesn't see that actions he's taking are making a relationship w/the girls more difficult. All he sees is that he's pushing hard to get this divorce over with and yes, wants to ensure that no one touches his money. Is he sastisfied w/himself? The answer is no. Why? Because if he were, he would cease some of this petty stuff. He's angry, resentful that you've accomplished moving and got a good job, and the bottom line...he's miserable. He thought you were weak and not capable of making some solid decisions on your own. Quite frankly, you shocked him with the move and the job. Don't allow him to take you back down in the rabbit hole.

Go to the hearing, hold your head up high, back straight and wear a nice outfit. Put your business attire on because this is now a business deal that needs to be completed so that you and your girls will not have to look over your shoulders and wonder when the next shoe will drop. Leave the emotions outside the court room. Cry in private after the hearing, but don't let him see you sweat. Heather, I know you can do this.