The Black Knight Lost in the End

[LoisB]

Our house sold. I'm a bit stunned. The realtor called me.

I'm feeling a bit better today. The news about the house set me back a little. I know it will be hard to tell D12.

Met with the nice editor this morning. He set my job fears at ease. He is very supportive. He also, admitted the perfectionist editor seems to be gunning for me a bit. He said, "I don't understand why he holds you to a different standard than he does the reporters that work for him."

I guess, in the long run, it's ok because it will make me a better editor. I think if I reach out the perfectionist editor a bit more, he will back off. He gets frustrated because I'm pretty independent and he likes his people to be remain in their "place."

Anyway, it was validating that I'm not crazy and reassuring that I'm still on the right track.

Today, I'm having a hard time accepting this is how our marriage will end. I can't believe he's made this such an ordeal.

We were all a bundle of nerves last night and I'm pretty sure we each had a meltdown. I'm angry he is putting our kids through more. MORE. It was good, though, after the meltdowns, the girls each expressed some of their frustrations. In the end, I feel like we were a tighter unit.

Doesn't he see this is making the girls hate him more? Even if I was able to hide all the details from them...a tall order given the number of letters in the mail each day...they are still aware that their dad is impacting their Christmas and how I'm having to go to Ohio. No one is happy.

I wonder if he feels satisfied with himself?