Wife has left and filed for divorce

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4 months of NC at all? Did you two have a mutual RO or was it just your W ignoring you for those 4 months?

Sometimes I feel like my sitch is hopeless. There's a ton of awful crap that my W needs to forgive me for, she's been totally NC since 10/15/14, and she seems angry and unhappy.

For example, last night my boys called me for a few minutes (I guess this is a positive thing for my W to help them with). Had a nice chat, but then they got off the phone and forgot to hang it up. I heard my W getting them ready for bed and she was quite short with my younger S, sounding mad and stern. I heard my S crying (I don't think because of her but because it was bed time), but the whole time I didn't hear any love in my W's voice.

My older S prayed, my W put on a story CD for them, and left the room. In the past we would all pray together, and last night it seemed so sad and unhappy that my W had one S pray, didn't do so herself or say any kind words, and then leave the room.

I did hear her, after my boys got off the phone, ask them: "Did you two talk to daddy?" It was weird and surreal hearing her voice and it sounded almost normal, but then I heard how stern and short she was and just felt bad.

Another reason why I think she's angry, besides the fact that she's been ignoring me, is that even though she told her MIL that she wants me to see my boys more, she is only letting me see them every other weekend and every other Wednesday overnight. My L and I had asked for every Wednesday overnight and every other weekend, not as a final plan, but as a baby step, and it seemed completely reasonable to me. It's just weird how she tells her MIL that she wants me to see the boys more and then keeps me from seeing them much at all (I haven't seen them for a week now). And it's frustrating to me because right now my W and I have the same legal rights to the boys. I'm letting her call the shots for now because I want her to have her time and space and to see that I'm not controlling the way I used to be. Also, my L, who knows I want reconciliation and who is a trained mediator, has suggested these baby steps instead of simply going tit-for-tat with my W.