Our situations are so very similar. Almost identical in many details, in fact. You can check out my thread and you will see. I hope it helps to know that you are not alone.
Usually, first-time posters get an informal introductory reply from a user named Cadet (Thanks for doing this Cadet!!!) with some very helpful advice. I hope, by my replying to you that your thread will gain some traction and attention from other users.
In the meantime, you should know that have one HUGE advantage right now: TIME. Currently, your W is not threatening divorce and you have plenty of time to plot a strategy that can improve your situation. Instead of focusing on your Ws irrational and erratic actions, spend time on this bulletin board, post frequently (even if you are not getting replies), read the DB and DR books. As you have seen already, your wife is not going to be receptive to anything right now. Use this time to work on yourself.
Can you identify any issues you had in the relationship, please? Also, since it has been a while since your first (and only) post - as far as I can tell - can you reply with a brief update on your situation?
