There are going to be days when you just need to distance yourself. You can be civil towards him, but that doesn't mean you have to be overly friendly. Look at him as the mailman. You are civil/courteous towards him, treat your h the same way. Keep your contact w/him to emergencies and your children.

You do realize that you are going through stages very similar to the MLCer? The stages are part of the grieving process. You've get through the anger when you are ready to let it go. Find things to take that anger out on, i.e., beat the pillows, join a gym, walking, gardening, anything that will help you release that anger. The anger is normal and it takes time to get through the process.

Hang in there!

Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to.
The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.