Ganb8te 2 - WAH - lost in translation

[gan]

I echo the advice about going NC. I know you think you are, but there are a lot of posts about a text here and an email there from you. You fear going NC will cause H to avoid you for 7 more months and file. Don't be ruled by fear.

I've been waiting for someone to call me out on this. You are right. I haven't been pitch black and H may well still expect me to initiate. I've sent 2 texts in 5 weeks (no other contact) and I was mostly just testing the waters. Can I go 2-3 months NC? I think so….but...

On the one hand I agree with Nettles about continuing a strict NC. But from what you said about your H avoiding conflict and alienating people rather than deal with any unpleasantness, I say maybe give it a few shots to connect and then if that fails, go pitch dark.

This is what I keep coming back to. How much this is factoring into things I just don't know. I do know that I can't control him or force him to work his s%#t. My IC keeps encouraging me to write a letter. She thinks he's depressed (based on my descriptions). I need to go back and re-read that chapter in DR.

BTW Lisa, your ideas are fantastic - thanks so much for putting them together. I just don't think we are there yet. If and when we do reconcile I'm going to come back to this list and plan some fund things around the ideas that you suggested. Thanks!

OK, it's storming out and I'm falling asleep. I'll post more on my plans soon…no need for any action right now except sleep.