Inside my chrysalis 9

[gan]

I get low, sad and resentful. I slowly work my way up to a PMA, feel strong and secure. Feel good, like I will survive no matter what happens. Then I start to believe H would be a complete fool to divorce me and begin to assume he's coming home and daydream accordingly.

^^^Exactly^^^ PMA -> expect positive outcome, NMA -> expect not to reconcile. I'm not bouncing between these extremes as much as I used to but trying to disentangle PMA from expectations of a positive outcome is really tricky!