I think you asked this question about counseling before, but then everything in the last four months is all a bit hazy to me.
My H was totally against C. He said that, by him going to C, that would indicate that he was trying to work on the M and that was not his goal. At first, I thought that C would be a way that we could express our concerns about each other with a neutral party as a sort of moderator. In retrospect, I am glad that we didn't go to C. After reading many people's sitchs, I now believe that C, many times, is a forum for negativity. My biggest goal was to stay away from getting sucked into H's negative energy and I think that C would have created a "gripe session" and we both would have left feeling unhappy. I decided to create fun, love and happiness around me. No heavy R discussions and now I'm glad that H was against C. For me, I don't see what good would have come from it.
I also have read stats that most couples that get back together do so without C or, if they do go to C, then it is some sort of faith-based C. I also think that it is necessary to find someone who is solution-oriented...someone who's sole goal is to help you get your M back on track. You could spend endless hours discussing your fears, neuroses, childhood, dissatisfaction with each other, etc, but what good would that do?
This is just my take on the sitch that presented to me. It would be interesting to see what others think.
Christine
I am the master of creating positive energy and love in my own environment. I am the source of love in my life. It starts with me! This energy radiates from me! It gives me strength, courage, wisdom and grace!
